Let me explain: It is the year 1991. My dad is currently stationed at US European Command Headquarters, or “Patch Barracks” in Germany. I’m in 7th grade. I am NOT cool. My mom buys my clothes from the Base Exchange. All the cool kids got to go back to the States for the summers and they dressed like Kriss Kross. Their lives are exactly like the Utopian existence portrayed in the music video for the hit single of the day, “Iesha” by Another Bad Creation. There’s one English speaking TV channel, the Armed Forces Network. On very rare occasions, the cosmos would align itself just right and we would get AFN at my house. Sometimes, they would broadcast music videos. I would watch them and dream of a better future, one in which I would buy my clothes from Nautica and Esprit.
Liz, a vicious and popular beauty who rode my bus, would let me listen to her walkman and peruse her bag of tapes, but only after the essential ritual of abuse had concluded. She said I looked like a Christian mom. I would gaze at the cover of Coolin’ at the Playground Ya Know! and silently beg the Lord of Darkness to buy me a Starter Jacket.
Naturally, I do not own this album, but I found a photo of it on this amazing website. I also found this:
There are no comments