I received a Potpourri Catalog in the mail yesterday. It was hilariously addressed to Jim, but I decided to steal it away for a mind numbing peek at it’s offerings. Many you can imagine: singing stuffed animals, non singing crystal animals, kitchen wall hangings about animals (and wine or chocolate)… but I decided to scan a few that really stood out to me and made me utter “oh my god.” Interestingly, nothing from the cat lady pages made the cut – these are, if you can believe it, far stranger than that.

Believe it or not, this “humorous” ball sack actually escaped my attention the first, even the second time through. Maybe because it’s just so subtle and tucked above a huge crystal four leaf clover.

This is pretty par for the course, but if you take the time to really look at it, nothing but confusion will greet you. Is this what has become of womanhood?

Again, the dancing dogs may just be one of many odd keepsake boxes, but there was something mesmerizingly forlorn in the pantless wizard Westie’s gaze. She meanwhile has the long stare of a call girl just making it through the night until she can afford a tube top to go with her crown. Since they were right next door, I’ve included the only thing in here I’d actually wear – almost life like cookie earrings and pendant. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t too if Iekeliene Stange was sporting them in a MJ ad.

Click here to see the rest of Fartmasters to Ballsacks: The Gems of Potpourri Catalog